My small group just finished our study of II Samuel tonight and I thought I'd post what I related to most about this narrative... We've been studying both I & II Samuel since August--a super rich endeavor! On to the thoughts:
There is a low-grade sadness I experience as I view the life of David in this book of the Bible. There is no doubt that he has an intimate relationship with God--David
knows God. But, as we see David stepping out of God's best for him (by sending the troops off to battle without him) and the ensuing adultery with Bathsheba, plotting the murder of Uriah, her husband (once David discovers that she is pregnant with his child), death of their baby boy and the other consequences God issues for David's family life thereafter, we see a man who, in the wake of these circumstances, chooses passivity on a regular basis.
As a woman, there is something that stirs inside of me in the face of passivity. It's not pretty. I want to take control. Welcome back to the Fall... And, from my birds eye view thousands of years after-the-fact, I find myself feeling rather angry at David for his inaction when it comes to his family from this point on in the story. He seems to give up on fighting for them.
He doesn't stand up for what's right when one of his sons, Amnon, violates his daughter, Tamar. He doesn't stand up for what's right when another son, Absalom, takes justice into his own hands, killing Amnon for the crime committed against his sister. And, initially, he doesn't even take proper action when Absalom later tries to overthrow him as king. Amazing stuff, really.
(Not to mention this passivity being passed along to Absalom who tells Tamar to keep quiet about the whole thing--"Family Business" he said...)
God promised consequences, but David also failed to live righteously before his family and ultimately the Kingdom in these instances. He failed them. Along the way, David had some friends speaking the truth into his life. I loved and appreciated their influence. They chose to say, "Hey David, you've really messed up here!" And, he listened!
He did have a teachable and tender heart. We knew there were reasons God called him a man after His own heart, right?
The thing that stands out tonight is the ability that we have to bless people through proper action or wound them through passivity. The last several months of my life have been marked by these two things. I have experienced tremendous blessing at the hand of friends who chose into action (at times prayerful action) on my behalf. I've felt fought for and loved. In another relationship arena, I've been wounded by passivity. Inaction has left me feeling like my heart is a bit of a commodity being traded to satisfy someone else's underlying need. I respond and that must feel good to others, but I feel hurt when it seems like my response, not me, is the endgame. And, at the end of the day, I feel vulnerable and used.
Another side to the passivity issue is seeing good friends standing by playing witness to some of the things that have transpired and hearing them blame-shift behavior away or fail to challenge those people in what is true and good. Sometimes, I think that hurts more. We see things happen and do nothing. Perhaps we don't know what to do, but it doesn't change the reality that we're taking a backseat to the issue at hand and no one is required to grow in the process.
Of course, this all has me thinking of the ways I choose into passivity in my own life. There are a couple areas that come to mind immediately and I am responsible before the Lord in those places. I guess the bottom line is that I want to be a person that tells the truth. I don't want to pretend. And, I hope that those who care for me will love me enough to tell me the truth when I need to hear it, too.
May this life and the way I live it bless others, not wound them further.
