Hope Deferred...

Deferred: withheld for or until a stated time (Merriam-Webster online)

I'm choosing something important right now. My 'positivity' according to StrengthsFinders is an asset, but as I'm experiencing it recently it is a deterrent to my own growth. Disappointments of past and present have surfaced like torpedoes over the past few weeks - I thank the flu for the down time which provided me ample opportunity to think. And think. And Think.

What have I determined to do with my thoughts? Sit in them. Address them. Interview them. Take them to the One who can handle them (whether I believe He wants to or not is another question altogether at the moment).

If you know me, chances are high that you probably would not use "Angry" as an adjective to describe me.

I am angry. My anger comes from disappointment. The disappointment alights from many an unmet expectation.

And, I am sitting in it. It is painful. The outcome looks bleak.

... Makes the heart sick.

Longing for Home, Unsure Where It Is

I know what is true... This is not my home - I'm just on a journey here walking towards Home.

During recent days, however, I find myself longing for a home. A factor driving this to the heart today is my current battle with the flu. I miss my overstuffed sage-green couch, my dark brown leather chair, my plush off-white rug, the coffee with cream colored walls of my former living room and yes, my own bed. I miss my good friends living a stone's throw away and the ability to reach out to them. And, I just miss the familiarity of being known.

Whenever this question of home arises, I find my mind wandering toward the unknown future that awaits me. At once it is hard to wait and easy to trust. I can't imagine what the outcome will be, so I've resigned (in a healthy way), to allowing the days to take their course. Whatever will be, will, well, be.

This said, the want remains and as I wrestle with this virus, I tussle with my longing for a home.

I've Spent Seven Days in Florida...

The main question pervading my heart over this past week is this, "WHAT am I doing??" Currently, the answer escapes me; although, it is also obvious. The Lord has me here. He has chosen this for me. I'm comforted tonight by this excerpt from Streams in the Desert...

August 31st
"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed." (John 20:29)

I do not ask that He must prove
His Word is true to me,
And that before I can believe
He first must let me see.
It is enough for me to know
It's true because He says it's so;
On His unchanging Word I'll stand
And trust till I can understand.

E.M. Winter

Living in Chaos: Not My Idea of a Good Time :)

The past two days I hit a low point with the moving-action. Picture the image with about five times the amount of stuff in it and welcome to my apartment after five days of packing. :)

One, I think I must realize that this transition is taking its toll on me - I've been overly tired as my brain refuses to shut off when it is clearly time to sleep (Sad that it doesn't listen to me!), packing up my office was an emotionally HUGE deal (I moved here for this job and I picked the carpet and base wall color for goodness sake!...), not to mention, saying goodbyes over the last couple of weeks has made me miss Boston while I'm still present in my life here. Packing has been a complete challenge - I've been so lost in how to go about doing so and have needed help.

Two, it's been really cloudy here and I think two days of it is just too much! (Good thing I'm moving to the "Sunshine State" - How do I keep forgetting how much I need the sun?)
Side note: Dear Hurricanes, please stay away... Love, Jess

This morning, I woke up and it was S-U-N-N-Y! I immediately felt like I could pack more stuff up sans my AMAZING friend and helper, Britt. She's done more for me than I can say (like telling me what to do and giving me projects to complete - a total reversal in our 'friendship roles' - hilarious!). It also occurred to me that hey, I HATE chaos - I do everything I can to ensure things are in their places and then I know I can rest. Not the case when your house is turned upside down and there are boxes, piles to sort-through, clothing and the like everywhere. And, I am unable to escape it. I just have to work in the midst of and through it.

So I am reminded, once again, of an over-sized pencil that my friend Meg gave me years ago... "Chaotically Calm," it says in bold print. Today, I feel that way and soon enough (less than seven days to be exact), I will be on the road and staring the unknown future in the face. Well, my iced Americano and stack of papers are calling me...

Counting Down...

18 days...

It is hard to believe, but I'll be moving to Orlando in under three weeks! I've just arrived back in Boston after spending the past month in Colorado and am beginning the 'I'm really moving, better start packing' process. I've made three separate to-do lists, I've yet to unpack my CO luggage, I'm starting to feel sad and I'm excited about the change (but maybe not hurricane season?!). How's that for an update?

I think I'll go make dinner.

The Voice of God at Coors Field, Denver, CO

I absolutely LOVED the seminary course I took last week entitled: Seeing the Psalms. One of the things our professor, Dr. Mark Futato taught us about the people of the Ancient Near East was the simple reality that when the clouds rolled in, they saw God's chariot; and, when the thunder roared, they heard God's voice. How far we have come with science. Nowadays, the wonder of the theology of the Psalms is missed by our sophisticated understanding of the universe. We don't see nor do we value the greatness of God in even the most basic sense as ancient people did. We've lost so much.

Friday night, I headed to the Rockies game with some friends (wearing my Sox shirt, of course!). A rain delay was called at the top of the seventh and we witnessed an amazing thunder/lightening storm roll in from the east. It was a special storm! I couldn't help but think about the Great King's voice. And, hoping to catch a shot of the lightening, I prayed. :) A few minutes later, I saw a plastic bag being tossed upward from the field by the wind and, thinking it was sort of amusing, took a picture of it... At the same moment, this beauty flew out from the clouds above - I couldn't believe I caught it in the shot! What a way to cap off a inspiring week of study...

Hiatus from Sabbatical Posting? Yes, I Guess So...

My intentions have been good in my desire to tell, in full, the stories of my adventures in April through early May, yet here I am in June and writing a post about my lack of posting. Go figure. In my defense (I smile as I type that), I've had a crazy few weeks - literally, three open evenings in the past 14 days. It's been fun reconnecting with Boston friends, heading to Fenway for a Sox game (going again next week!! :)), visiting the MFA (Museum of Fine Arts for the non-Bostonians out there), eating the BEST Indian I've had in the city (India Quality in Kenmore - worth a visit), and probably some other stuff mixed in there, too.

It's also been amazing to get myself together and start to work out again and begin the long process of purging stuff in my house that isn't needed. I'm feeling productive and engaged and mostly, at ease. That said, I laughed aloud recently as I reread a post from January where I talked about change, but went on to assure any readers that I was not moving away from Boston.

One thing is certain: God has a sense of humor.

Indeed, I am moving from my beloved Beantown in August. Little did I know this in January, February or even early March... And, as it seems this is the way He (God, the Lord, my Dearest Friend :)) likes to work in my life, I'm off to Orlando to work at our world headquarters... Something I practically vowed, oh yes - here it comes, never to do.

Never say never?

So, at some point in the nearer than further future, I will tell the tales and post the pictures. In the meantime, imagine me shaking my head and laughing at the reality that I'm actually moving to Orlando...

Sabbatical: Week One Continued

Our adventures in Poros were fairly low-key. I think my sister and I both needed some serious downtime - to be honest, we didn't even talk to each other much. We both read books, enjoyed the walks into town, ate great food (the french fries were to-die-for!!!), met interesting friends and slept a ton.

Early in our stay we found our way to Oasis, one of my favorite spots there - mostly because the locals who worked there chatted it up with us (and as my sister will attest to, I talked with everyone in sight). Michael, a partial owner of the restaurant, was gregarious to say the least. The night we headed there for dessert, he practically forced us to sit with two unknown sailors and the ensuing hours were spent talking about everything from life and love to politics and faith.

Edvin and Michel, brothers from Holland, were engaging. We learned all about their families and their love of sailing - Michel owned the boat that was in port in Poros. They gave us a tour of the boat and we wished them well on their early-morning journey and said our goodbyes. It was 2:30 as we made our way home that night, yet I felt so awake. In large part, I think it's because Michel and I had the chance to talk about God. It was humbling to hear about his life and reasons he doesn't think God exists. We talked about suffering and the way it has shaped his worldview. It made me sad as I understood his losses and why he believes as he does. Our conversation gave me hope as I remembered that God loves him and passionately pursues a relationship with him.

Other highlights included sharing breakfasts at the hotel with Jonna and Leif from Denmark. Both teachers and excellent conversationalists which made a delightful start to the days away. One day we rented a car and experienced the island - it took about a half-hour to see it all. :)

Our little car - I revisited my knowledge of driving a standard and freaked my sister out on some of the narrow roads.

Views of the Aegean. Have I mentioned the beauty of this place?

Another view. Wow, it was breathtaking.

Here I am in front of a Greek olive tree. The olives were amazing...

Sabbatical: Week One

Greece. I don't remember what drew me to the idea of this place years ago, but now I know why I want to return. Early Saturday morning (4/11), my sister and I headed back to Heathrow via private taxi (less expensive than those cool London taxis that we see in the movies) - we got an Audi instead. :) The driver played a variety of techno 80's music. It was 3:30 AM.
I arrived at Heathrow at 6:35 AM the morning prior.

Our driver drops us off and we discover hiccup #2 of the trip: not enough cash to tip him properly (Oh dear!) - he generously accepts $5 (USD) and tells me he's going to keep it as a souvenir. Sweet, sweet man...

We find Costa just outside of security (this is my sister's favorite coffee spot in London) and order our beverages - truly an amazing latte, I must add. I also have a chocolate muffin unlike anything in my life. Suddenly, the reality that it's 4:30 AM doesn't seem so bad. We finish up and head for security, the gate and well, Vienna. That's where we're stopping on the road to Athens today.

Two hours pass with a lovely breakfast - can you say that about plane food? - and we land in Austria, deplane onto the tarmack (see, I've been there now!), passports stamped by the new Austrian friends and we scooted off to board the flight that will take us to GREECE. I was excited.

Landing in Athens, we experienced no passport control (strange we thought), grabbed our bags, figured out how to get to Port Piraeus via bus (Yes! Public Transport at the bargain price of $3.20 EURO each). Took the bus (stood for most of the hour-long ride), arrived at the Port and searched for the Flying Dolphin Ferry that would take us to Poros Island. Arriving in Poros, we grabbed our bags and looked for a taxi - a Mercedes this time. An aside: The Europeans know how to do things with style! He pulled up to a driveway and pointed up the hill saying, "I think that's your hotel."

There were no signs. There were no stairs. In fact, after manuevering our luggage to the hilltop, we couldn't decide where the Lobby might be. We started knocking on doors. After a few minutes, a woman walked towards us from the alleyway; we thought nothing of this until she handed me her cell phone and made a gesture towards it, then me. I said, "Hello. We are supposed to check-in today. Is this such and such hotel?" Affirmative. The woman on the other end gave some brief instructions - the jist: follow the woman who gave you the phone. So, we did. Evarina was fabulous to us during our time in Poros!

At any rate, we follow her to the itty bitty elevator and then to our room. A while later, Greek phrasebook in hand, we return to the Lobby asking her for thoughts on dinner. And well, then we meet Costas. Yes, Costas. He speaks a little English and quickly herds us toward his truck. He's taking us on a tour of Poros. We drive around - he kept pointing out places to eat and continues to tell us how beautiful we are. We kind-of liked Costas. Eventually, he drops us off at this restaurant at the base of the hill below the hotel and we have our first official meal in Greece. It was delicious.

This is our first of many new friends at the restaurant. Poor stray kitty.

The view from our table. It was beautiful at dusk.

Stray kitties made themselves at home all over the island. Here one catches a cat-nap on the seat of a Yamaha. :)

A view of the harbor on our way into Poros Town. I could spend some serious time here.

Sabbatical, Day One

As promised, here are some posts detailing my adventures over the past month. In way of background, I'd say that I've been on the road to burnout for the past couple of years. There have been spaces in time that served as reprieves and allowed me to keep plugging forward (especially my summer assignment in Vail in 2007), but as time went on, I knew I needed to get away from ministry life AND that staying home for my sabbatical would not produce results that would ultimately benefit my heart. For the first two weeks, I hopped the Pond, landed in London which acted as home-base and did more traveling from there.

First hiccup of the trip:

While I was filling out my entry form for the UK just before our descent, I realized a huge oversight: I did not have my sister's address! She was picking me up at the airport, so I didn't think much about it. The only thing I knew about where I was going was the Tube line she lived off of - helpful, I'm sure... Making my way through the immigration area, I came to the UK officer and told him of my dilemma. He proceeded to look over my form where I had written "Ministry Operations" as my occupation. He thought that was a bit interesting and asked me a plethora of questions which finally included: "Are you planning to evangelize while you're in the UK?" Well... Not exactly planning on it. He also thought it strange that I was on "Sabbatical."

Thankfully, 20 or so minutes later, he let me go. Relaying the conversation to my sister on the way to her place, she said, "V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N - That's all you needed to tell him!" I tend to be thorough! Needless to say, next time I'll remember her address.

Here's my first shot on the road to rest while jet-lagged and experiencing rainy London for the first time.

Forward Progress

A while back, my friend Ryan sent me a copy of a post from Seth Godin's blog. I wanted to post it here as a reminder that in this uncertain place, setting goals, risking and failure are part of what it's all about - I don't want to miss out on being remarkable... This is highly encouraging.

The Goals You Never Hear About

Farewell Sabbatical

Tomorrow (rather, later this morning) I head back to the office after a month away. I need to find my key. It's 12:20 AM and I'm not quite sure if all of the travel has changed my internal 'need-to-sleep' clock, but alas, I am so tired, but still awake. I plan to write more about my weeks away from the regularly schedule program called, My Life, and provide some pictures soon, but I will say this: I have been able to rest. That alone is highly encouraging.

Honestly, it's hard to go back to work because I know I could use another couple of months to move forward and delve into some areas where I need to experience growth. Here's the silver lining: I am better equipped to build this into my downtime now that I've had time to come down from the rest of it. Somehow, I know it'll work itself out.

For now, I think I'll try to submit to the weariness in spite of the thoughts swirling through my mind - mostly engrossed in the last four days of my sabbatical. They were really, really good days. Ironically, after spending time abroad and near the ocean for the majority of the month, these last four treasured days of freedom were spent in... Wisconsin. LOL. More soon...

Be Still My Soul

Listening to the Atlantic from a lovely balcony as I rest
and seek to be still...

Be still, my soul: the Lord is on your side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain;
leave to your God to order and provide;
in every change God faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: your best, your heavenly friend
through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul: your God will undertake
to guide the future, as in ages past.
Your hope, your confidence let nothing shake;
all now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul: the waves and winds still know
the Christ who ruled them while he dwelt below.

Be still, my soul: the hour is hastening on
when we shall be forever with the Lord,
when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone,
sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored.
Be still, my soul: when change and tears are past,
all safe and blessed we shall meet at last.

Text: Katharina von Schlegel, 1752; trans. by Jane Borthwick, 1855 (Ps. 46:10)
Music: Jean Sibelius, 1899; arr. from The Hymnal, 1933
Excerpt from www.hymnsite.com

Mars Hill - the Real Deal

I'm currently sitting on my balcony overlooking Constitution Square and the Parliament building here in Athens. Tonight, my friend Marta (with her roommate, Paige) joined my sister and I for a tour of Athens where they're living and ministering right now. We headed to Mars Hill and the Acropolis at sunset. While a bit distracted from the site by a zealous Greek man named Apollos (who planned THAT I don't quite know), I must say in thinking back over those moments where I stood and Paul sat atop the hill making a compelling case for the person of Christ, I am grateful. It's Easter Week (Holy Week) here in Greece and the celebrations are about to start beginning tomorrow. Unfortunately, my sister and I leave the city quite early, but it's just such a treat that we were here in the first place.

As an aside, I'm currently on sabbatical and had the tremendous opportunity to make my way to Europe using travel points and airline miles. This trip is such a blessing and I can't wait to share more about it soon. I've already had many adventures and I'm sure there will be more to share as I head back to my sister's home of London tomorrow.

For the moment, it's approximately 11:30 PM here in Athens. There is a ton of traffic below and kids on skateboards honing their skills across the way in the square. And, not more than a mile away, Paul the Apostle brought the news of Jesus to the people of Athens. Amazing.

Clarity

In a box called operations and everything administrative, someone I well know has peeked over the edge at another that might co-exist, wondering about her. This person, the one, that was never held in high esteem -- she who wanted to create and dream and be special in that way -- diminished as the hours counted down and time passed on. Occasionally seen and recognized, she delighted in those moments. In due course reality would return and back into the box she would flee.

It's not that the box was uncomfortable. The box was well-fitted, sturdy, safe, known. Effortlessly lived from and recognized and appreciated. She knew it was a part of her and desired from its fullness not to escape with finality.

Yet, sadness crept in with the realization that living within and from the box had become all that was seen of her. The grief of fragmentation prevailed, the pendulum began to swing. And, in this place she acknowledged that change lay waiting. Perhaps God was asking her to have courage to leap beyond the boundaries of her box and be known.

iLike

I recently posted my disappointment about the way we choose to handle one another in American politics and today, I came across this article that made me smile. Here are some real life people making hard choices for the benefit of others - a Gospel-centric message, I'd say. And, in a rather surprising twist? The story comes from my very own city. Thanks to these Bostonians for being concerned about the needs of others... An inspiring story indeed.

A head with a heart

Forward We Spring!

While I'm not super enthused about losing the hour of sleep tonight, I am excited that more daylight is on the way! Winter lasts so long here and every year I welcome any glimpse of spring. Not to mention, by the way, the 58 degree weather we had here in Boston today... Dreamy! (We'll forget for a moment, the Nor'easter that hit last week and the hour I spent digging my car out... But, I digress.) It's supposed to be in the mid-50's again tomorrow. Smile.

Wow, so let's go there...?

I came across the article below this morning which caused me to consider American politics again. I've been trying to take a break since Obama was elected following the longest-contended election in US History. Instead of facing up to the truth (both sides), the process of seeking new scapegoats continues... Let's keep hammering one another. I'm quite fed up with it and I hope my fellow Americans will be too. This is beyond ridiculous.

Gold Rush: Dems launch Operation Rushbo

The Value Meal... By Starbucks

In introductory economics we learned that when luxury goods began to struggle, that's when the economy experienced a true down-turn. Not that Starbucks is considered a 'luxury' good by all in our world today, though I'd imagine that this is one area of household budgets being slashed in the past months (I know it has in mine). It's certainly not a necessity and as we've seen with the downward spiral of the stock market, Starbucks has been affected and has closed stores nationwide. Part of this is due to over-saturation of the market (personal opinion), thus the introduction of many more products (food and the like). I read an article months back that observed a key missing ingredient when walking into a Starbucks store: the smell of... Coffee. That tells you something. :)

At any rate, the recession we've found ourselves in also provides us with some positives (inclusive of making smarter choices with our resources) and of them, the Starbucks Value Meal. Might be worth checking out. It's actually in the range of what I spend at Cosi on the first floor of our building. At last, Starbucks offers a value.

A Perspective I Appreciate

SADAR/CAMMARATA: In global warming we trust

Highly Helpful Credit Advice for Today's Economy

If you think your credit score is safe in this economy due to your debt to credit ratio (latter is higher than the former for a good score), beware:

Credit-Card Issuers: Buy Something or Else!

Tugboat

Crossing over the Charles on the Red Line yesterday (Mind you, a very empty Red Line Train!), I found myself staring at a tugboat (at least that's what I'm calling it since I'm not overly familiar with boats). It doesn't sound so surprising, I suppose. A boat on a river... Cool. BUT, the arctic-like temperatures we've experienced this year have left the Charles as frozen as the Frog Pond. Happily, the weather has warmed in the past few days (we're talking 40 degrees and feeling like summer!) and I guess the ice is melting away.

Here I was, sitting on the T, watching the tugboat shredding its way through the ice. There was no other movement on the river, just this serene little boat sneaking up behind the Museum of Science. I was thinking about the effort required to form its path along the way. It left a narrowly gaping space of water behind between shores of frost-covered ice. You could see the path it left quite a ways in the direction of the Mass Ave Bridge. It was really quite beautiful.

It made me think a little about my life. I feel a bit like that tugboat right now. Moving slowly ahead in a direction -- maybe uncertain of what awaits on the other side of the city -- leaving a visible impact behind. Hopefully, one that's positive. I'm still mulling over that tugboat and wondering what's ahead.

Lists

Previously in my life I made lists. Grocery lists, to-do lists, 'thinking about' lists, what songs to buy on iTunes lists (I'm actually good about this one :)) -- you get the idea. Lately, I've become less productive during my down-time, which if you're an Activator/Achiever like me (see StrengthsFinders if you'd like to read all about it), simply put, bugs. Even when I'm at 'rest' I need to accomplish... So here's my latest thought: I need to return to my old ways and begin my list-making anew. I'm thinking it will involve lot's and lot's of post-it notes. (I love them!)

Hopefully I'll actually make progress on the ideas that have been lingering in my brain and heart until now - those which require action if ever to have the chance to succeed. We'll see how I do... I think I'll make a list now... :)

Prager's Thoughts on the Inaugural Address

Obama's Inaugural Address

Thank you, President Bush

Today is an historic day in the USA. A new president takes the oath of office and the American people and the world recognize how far we have come in embracing diversity and healing as a nation. I am thankful for the reality that this is true of our nation (though there will always be issues to address regarding race, I think) and can appreciate the magnitude of this event. It is a testament to the greatness of our nation as transfer of power occurs so peacefully and with such respect.

I didn't wake up this morning thinking as much about the inauguration as I did about the man leaving office. President Bush heads home to Texas today to begin his next adventure. It saddened me as I turned on the television this morning, and in reading through the headlines swooshing past on the bottom of the screen saw the media making mention of Bush's low approval ratings as he leaves office. What would have been fair? To remind the American people that our Congress has an even lower rating still, but I digress. Bush for all of his strengths and his flaws still deserves our respect and gratitude for the service he has done for our nation.

While there are people that might disagree with me on this point, I want to express my appreciation, my gratitude for President Bush who led us through an amazing eight years of life and history. His firm stance on terrorism and ensuing protection of our nation, the rights of the unborn, his choices for Supreme Court justices, assistance for those living with AIDS in Africa are some of the highlights for me from his presidency. He showed great strength when the shocking and grievous events happened on 9-11 and resolve as he shared with the American people so honestly that this war would be long-lasting and needed to be pursued.

I was recently reflecting on his first term when, because of litigation over the presidency, he had to put his appointments on hold for his administration. How amazing it is that he handled 9-11 as he did in light of the late start he experienced in getting his administration set-up. And, how easily we forget some of these things. I appreciated his Farewell Address to the nation last week, as well. He was honest, humble, hopeful and so very gracious.

The 'world' may cheer as he leaves office today, but I am sad. I pray he has a smooth transition away from Washington and a restful few weeks or months of reflection. I hope we look back in the years to come and shower him with the respect and gratitude he deserves. And, I trust that he will continue to influence and impact the lives of people wherever these next steps may take him.

Thank you so much, President Bush! May God bless you in the days ahead.

Carolina on My Mind

My friend Megan and I hit the road spontaneously last night to begin our trek to North Carolina. (Our friends Josh and Erin are getting married tomorrow!) I arrived at her place in New Haven in the mid-afternoon, grabbed Thai for lunch and as soon as we walked into her apartment realized, 'Wait, we're going to drive all day tomorrow and all day Sunday'? - our plan, or really lack thereof, was lame. Within forty minutes we'd called her relatives in D.C. making arrangements to stay with them, she packed and we were bustling out of Connecticut trying to miss as much of the ensuing NYC rush hour traffic as humanly possible.

An additional snag? She had to complete her final grad school application essays and submit them online by midnight. Needless to say, I quickly refreshed on driving a standard, she edited and typed and I drove the majority of the trip once we made a pit stop in Jersey (Praise God they pump your gas for you! It was balistically cold last night!). Later, we took a quick dinner break (essays almost done) and were able to catch President Bush as he gave his farewell address to the nation. Good timing!

Back on the road, we searched for signs of Wi-Fi (musing about the world we live in when this word is a part of our vocabulary and something we'd look for on a road trip down south). Sadly, it was after 9 PM and not a Panera to be found! Thankfully, her relatives (who are a bit older) were set up far beyond expectation and she was able to email them away after some of the most delicious apple pie I've had, courtesy of her great aunt, around 11 PM.

We made it to North Carolina today after an awesome morning with her amazingly hospitable relatives (thanks Dave and Jackie!!), Chick-Fil-A in Virginia with a really weird hand dryer in the restrooms (ask me about it - so creepy) and no major mishaps on the highways and bi-ways between D.C. and here. I'm still on the search for peanut butter M & M's (you wouldn't believe how hard they are to find!), but excited to have a reunion of sorts with friends of old and hanging out with such a fun friend.

...In my mind I've gone to Carolina... ! JT

Hackers R Us

My friend and colleague, Geoff is experiencing this loveliness...

Heinous Facebook Identity Theft

Life at Rest?

2009 finds me embarking on a new adventure. No, I'm not planning to move and yes, I am unsure about what I'll be doing a few months from now as I transition away from my current role (in process); but, I am on a new mission I like to call: Jessica Learns How to Rest. And, January 7th marked the beginning of my endeavor. Our winter conference behind me, I suddenly found myself staring the days and weeks ahead in the face and wondering, "Will I actually be able to do this?"

Unaccustomed to a slower pace and actively choosing to have less on my plate, I feel a bit nervous about the future. However, more than ever before in my life, I actually understand that I NEED this. The decision isn't solely a charming flash of pragmatism on my part, but perhaps more significantly appreciated as my opportunity to spread my wings and discover what is true about who I am without all of the clutter. Less is more, if you will.

I'm hopeful that this time will find me living in the "Room of Grace" not in the "Room of Good Expectations" as the authors of a tremendous book called, TrueFaced so eloquently put it. I've lived in the latter for most of my life and honestly, I need to rest from all of my 'good' work. I need the Gospel to penetrate every crevice of my life and heart. I need to experience transformation. And, I need to rest.

We'll see how it goes! I'm sure it will be challenging and surprising.