And So I Remain...

Some friends and I have committed to living life intentionally together this next year. Each week, or as it's gone recently at least, we've gathered to share a meal, pray, dig into our study of the book of Luke and generally, step into the stories represented by the seven people in the room. I am still unsure what to expect of what our Tuesday's will hold for us in the months ahead; but last night, for the second week in a row, I found myself taking a deep breath and settling in. I almost wore my pajama pants again. Almost.

I facilitated our time of study and although we were supposed to be somewhere around chapter four, I felt nudged back to chapters one and two in the previous days of personal study. So we went backwards. There's something kind-of sweet about it to me as I think of it tonight. In doing so, we revisited the stories of Mary, Elizabeth, Zechariah, Simeon and Anna. I don't know about you, but I have glossed over the details of their vignettes as the years have swept onward. After all, the big picture finds us witnessing the births of John the Baptist and Jesus--What do these other details matter? Well, that's me anyway. I love the macro--the vision--where it's all going...

Stopped in my tracks this week, however, I noticed many things including these two highlights: the Holy Spirit was so present in the process and each person knew God. In fact, my greatest encouragement came from the stories of Simeon and Anna... Both recognized the Messiah, Jesus, when they met Him. Through intimate relationship with God, each was able to witness the movement of God as it happened. They didn't miss it, but rejoiced in the seeing: God's salvation had come! And, they saw this in the face of a baby!!

This caused me to consider the Pharisees--they had so much knowledge about God, yet when looking at Jesus, seeing Him face-to-face, they somehow missed the movement of God. Their knowledge of Him was limited because they never experienced the joy and struggle of relationship with God. Isn't that sad?

All of this caused me to think, of course, about my present life circumstances. There are things that I certainly don't understand about what God is doing. There have been recent days where I have wanted Him to behave in a way that makes total sense to me. I want Him to spell out the path ahead so I can just follow it. What I realize, however, is that what He is offering me is far better...

He's offering me relationship. He's affording me the opportunity to know Him. In so doing, He's continuing to build trust into the very fabric of my being. And, He's doing all of this so I will be able, in part, to witness His movement as it happens. Knowing Him, not just knowing about Him, is preparing me to really see Him.

When the insecurities and fear rise within me (like they did last Wednesday), the Lord is asking me to take a deep breath and engage. I'm learning that sure, I can ask for a formula or lean on my own understanding, but in the end, all those ideas have left me with is a lousy bit of insomnia... It's a lovely picture, really: I'm laying awake in the middle of the night imagining the drive to the airport, frantically booking a ticket and hopping a plane to Colorado. I don't know what happens when I land, but I assure all of us that I'd rather take my chances knowing Him here where He's asked me to wait and believe.  

Inspired by this Tonight

This caused me to again remember the dreams that I have and that it takes hard work and time to pursue them. From what I've heard from this album, I love it... A friend of a friend, I met Katie once or twice in college--it's so fun to see where she's gone in her life and career. And tonight, this story reminds me to choose courage and continue to take forward steps in my life.