I'm supposed to be finishing a Field Guide right now...

At least I've made a few notes? Tucked away in my office for the summer, everyone else seems to have gone. My energy is low and the week has been long, but I'm celebrating (and it's not even Friday!). I've seen something in myself these past two weeks that I'm astounded by and gratefully embracing... I am depending on Him.

This is new for me in my work life. I have chosen to stop, to rest and to let some things go.  New eyes are seeing with fresh perspective that I do not have to carry it all, nor can I, and I take joy.

There's a certain sadness in the backdrop of my days that has nothing to do with life here and now. Even in that, I'm resting. He's showing me His love, faithfulness and kindness in that place. What's more, I am choosing to receive it.

And, in His goodness, He has entrusted me with the care of some pretty remarkable people. Both friends and colleagues, in fact. I'm savoring the moments where I realize that I'm not where I once was and those things, the yucky things, that He has brought me through have allowed me to speak to places in the lives of others that I could not have understood had it not been for the mess.

Wow.

It's the Small Things

At the end of another long, but good day that has left me with some important things to consider, I felt a pull to take a moment to engage in today's devotional from Joy & Strength (compiled by Mary W. Tileston) in spite of my weariness. This last entry of five for June 16 was the perfect, most timely reminder:

"I hope you will learn, what I am always hoping to learn, to rejoice in God continually, knowing that He is really ordering all your circumstances to the one end of making you a partaker of His own goodness, and bringing you within His own sympathy."

--Thomas Erskine--

I needed these life-giving words tonight... Badly.

Why Are We So Afraid of Being 'Found Out'?

Truly, it's scary stuff to open ourselves up to being known. What if they don't like what they see? What if they discover things about us of which we ourselves are unaware? What happens then?

Last night, Cole began a new series called, "Fully Mature"--in the opening dialogue, he talked a lot about spiritual infancy. There is a place in life to be an infant. We all start there, after all. We come into the world dependent and needy. Actually, we leave much the same (if afforded a long life). Yet, spiritually speaking, we encounter challenges if we remain in infancy. We are pre-occupied with ourselves and we lack discernment.

I'm certain that we've all injured people in our immaturity and have also been on the receiving end. No fun. In fact, quite painful, really. Thinking about this more today, I wonder, "Why do we avoid seeking to grow in maturity when we see or learn that we're hurting others in a particular area of life?" I mean, what's in it for us?

As I've been considering the need in my life to become even more vulnerable, I understand the hesitation to really go 'there'. Dealing with our pain (especially when we've completely disconnected from it) is frightening, but it's also completely necessary to our health and healing. To blame-shift the responsibility away or ignore that there is a problem will only lead to further wounding of ourselves and others. Is that a risk we're willing to take?

Cole continued to remind us last night that we must choose into vulnerability before God and people in order to grow in maturity. I like to think of this as growing in wholeness. God wants us to be whole people! Fully restored, healed, living in freedom and equipped to bring His love and His light to the lives of people around us. I want to be that kind of person... Who's with me?