My Choice: Woe or Thank?

A few days ago I realized a need in my life: attitude adjustment! I'm just processing some heavier things right now and I realized (in the midst of a virus that kept me on the sofa and asleep in my bed for five days) that I was on a 'woe-is-me' spiral headed DOWNWARD. For such a positive person, I have issues. :) Honestly, I think it's easy at times to let circumstances rule my emotions and perspective. I read something that very evening that reminded me about gratitude. And, before bed, I felt *compelled* (quite literally) to jump out of bed, grab my journal and write 10 things I was thankful for that night.

I did it and found release in the action. I felt like I moved above those things concerning me (not to say that they didn't slip back into my consciousness the moment my head hit the pillow) and had something new to detour my brain towards in my considerations. And, I even thanked God for a couple things for which I don't feel very thankful right now.

Last night, I did it again. I think I'm going to turn this into a practice for the next month or so--feel free to check with me if you want. I'm excited to see how God will use this time to shape my heart toward relationship with Him. I think it'll be sweet... That's just a guess, but I hope...

Waiting (Well!)

"She was not accustomed in these days to meet troubles, small or great, with the small stock of strength her mind or body could afford. She had acquired, by long habit, the power of putting them from her until she could take them into the presence of her Lord, and there, in secret, commune with Him of all that was in her heart."

--Sarah W. Stephen 

(As published in Joy & Strength, 1993, Tileston, Mary W.)

I've recently grown weary in waiting. There are several thieves I've allowed in my life these past few months. They have stolen two important assets: my joy and my energy. I'm beginning to remember that sometimes I have to fight for my own heart when others are incapable of seeing what's happening in my stomach. When I reach the place where I feel the familiar sickness and ache in the depths of my insides, I know something is terribly amiss. I'm thankful for the knowledge. There are things to release and others of which I need to grab hold.

Waiting is never easy. Placing your trust in others equally challenging. Life, however, requires that I do both and I see this as a good reality. Though, knowing when to take action while waiting well and allowing appropriate trust is tricky. In my personal and work lives, I'm still a novice. I'm taking new ground as I grow, yet it has yet to 'feel' comfortable, safe or fun. I'd like the process to feel like this because I'd be more at ease. That said, I'm learning peace in it. (He, after all, is our Peace!)

The quote above is my hope for myself as I walk through the waiting. May I take everything to Him--commune!--finding rest in my Source and setting my body and mind (let's also add emotions) on a course toward purposeful change. Thank God that He is committed to transformation in my life.