To Place My Heart in the Way of Harm

I'm sending out mixed signals
bottom line
  I'm scared to death
to truly let you see what's real
so I sabotage myself

Anxiety rises quietly
then spins me toward despair
my confident exterior
belies deep-seated fear

So cavernous the pain
my past has wrought
I question then compare
undoubtably you won't choose me
so I take that seat back there

My wounded heart is healing
the gift is now I see
and understand the decision mine
to let Him set me free
   tear down the walls I've built
   bring soul restoration with Your Light, Your Love
   root these feet profoundly in the soil of Your Foundation
   open these palms to receive Your good provision
   thank You for guiding me to close that other door

Lovingly I conclude this time
to place my heart in the way of harm
my only hope is He holds it tight
as I rest in lieu of commanding flight.