Triangle Pose & Love

In recent years I have had wise people and friends strongly encourage me to take part in the practice of yoga because somewhere along this road I travel, I have forgotten how to breathe. Leave it to me, the type-A, driven, perfectionist in remission to lose sight of a foundational necessity like breathing. The thing is, of course I breathe, but my breaths are shallow; and, the concern is that my body isn't receiving the oxygen it needs to function properly. In fact, without it, I cannot thrive. Amazing things I'm learning...

Lately, when I go to my class, I have focused my attention on what it means to trust God--to understand him as my Refuge. As I'm moving through the flow of movement, I turn my attention to how much I need him to even complete the poses, to rest in them, to find strength as I maintain the posture. One thing is for certain: it's hard. I see my need to depend upon him each and every week. The parallels to life are unending.

Last week, I realized mid-class that I was soaring through the flow. A first. I felt so grateful and strong. This week, I struggled. Maintaining my breath was challenging, I couldn't hold a bunch of poses and where strength was found last time, I found weakness this week.

When we arrived at triangle pose, I felt weary in it. I'm finding it challenging to explain the pose as I think about it so this next part might make sense... Leave it to the internet to find a photo in seconds... Here you go: Extended Triangle Pose. Anyway, while I focused on my breath and maintaining my stance, our instructor began to talk about the vulnerability of having our hearts so open to the world. I reflected on that as my whole body was turned out, exposed. She said that sometimes it is hard to choose into that vulnerability because of the risk it involves. Tears welled in my eyes.

I reflected on that with the Lord as I continued through the class. It is scary and messy to choose into love--receiving and giving--in this life. My immediate response is often to be guarded. Crossed arms, legs, and body positioned away from those I interact with regularly (ask the guys at the office--one has pointed this out to me).

BUT, if I desire to be loved (and really, to be able to offer love), I have to be open. I have to risk. And, in my weakness, I have to choose to allow Jesus to be my strength.