Rebuilding & Restoration

"What does this bunch of poor, feeble Jews think they're doing? Do they think they can build the wall in a single day by just offering a few sacrifices? Do they actually think they can make something of stones from a rubbish heap--and charred ones at that?" --Sanballat, Nehemiah 4: 1-2

Sometimes I wonder that, too: "Do I actually think..." The enemies of Israel were not kind. In fact, in Nehemiah, we see them reminding the Jews of the truth--the city was vulnerable and the work to restore the city wall was an enormous endeavor. I see my life in the picture of those simple stones that have been laid in a rubbish heap. I feel the coarseness of the char that exists in my soul from days gone by that have brought destruction and death. And, over the years, I've chosen to believe the enemy.

Thank God for the "Nehemiah's" of the world! As he learns of the enemy's threats, he establishes a system for protection so the rebuilding might continue when under attack. I love what he says after putting this framework into play (Nehemiah 4:19-20):

"The work is very spread out, and we are widely separated from each other along the wall. When you hear the blast of the trumpet, rush to wherever it is sounding. Then our God will fight for us!"

Two things stand out to me; first, the people were called to help one another--they were in it together--and two, even when they might rush to where the trumpet was sounding, Nehemiah recognized that it was God who would fight for them--Nehemiah knew God. Amazing.

Years of my life have gone by where I've lived in unseen bondage to beliefs established in the past. My walls of protection have turned to rubble as patterns were secured where I listened to and lived in light of the lies. I lost sight of what it looked like to fight. Honestly, I don't think I realized there was something real to battle. While I've delved into some of this during the last three years, over Christmas it became apparent that there were more areas of vulnerability in my life. And God, in His kindness, opened my eyes to see and hear the taunts of the Enemy. He brought someone alongside me to battle with me, but ultimately, He was the one providing the insight, direction, clarity and power needed to win.

I'm not sure if the Jews felt this way, but I was humbled by my lack of faith and belief. I cried tears of repentance and told God how sad I was that I believed so many things that are contrary to who He is for so long. And, the wall isn't fully rebuilt yet, but it's a beginning. There are more battles to engage in and I must live with resolution to believe God and invite other people to be in it with me. This past week I've been so grateful as He has shown generosity towards me, allowing me to recognize things that aren't from me or from Him. It has changed my perspective on the world and the impact of the supernatural in my day-to-day.

My heart is that God would fully restore me. I know it's possible--Jesus made it so. And, I know He will. I'm asking Him again to take this rubble and build a wall so solid that the lies remain on the outside. We cannot give what we do not have, after all. I know that experiencing the freedom He bought for me will have far reaching influence; I just need to live in light of it first. The exciting thing is, He is already accomplishing it in and through me...