A Life of Learning

I don't think there's anything in life which prepares one to walk through the deepest tragedies with people except for that one thing... Walking through them with people....

A few weeks back, two of my best friends and I decided to schedule an excursion to the coast, but mostly to Trader Joe's. I've been wanting to go for a month or two and was grateful we landed on a date. Within the day, I realized we would be making our way there on the 5th month anniversary of Sophie's life and death. There's nothing easy about death. Even five months into the grief, we all feel it.

Still, we took the day for what it was and found ourselves eating lovely fish tacos, then strolling down the street to witness the beauty which is the Gulf Coast. We took a couple of pictures (the kindest man offered to help us as he and his beloved walked by) and sat on the sand, staring out over the water for 20 minutes. I felt profoundly grateful for these friends who are more like sisters to me. They're more beautiful to me four and a half years into our friendship. I know it's because of the roads we've walked together.

Walking back to our car, we daydreamed about renting a vacation home there so we could get even more time together. It's fun to dream those little dreams, you know? But, I can see it... A week there with them (and probably the other peanut we love and their husbands... I don't think the guys would let us get away with a week without them). I'd love it.

I'm realizing more and more as I get older how much I simply don't know. The Lord, in His kindness, is helping me to open up my arms and invite whatever He deems as best. He's helping me to be faithful and to walk in obedience. And perhaps most importantly, He's helping me to learn to lean on Him in so many moments when I 'just don't know how' to relate or do the thing I need to do or risk or be the friend I'm not sure how to be for someone else. 

It's amazing how much I don't know, actually. I'm finding peace in this place, though. I'm learning to be present and how to be free. I'm learning to love better. And, I'm learning to be grateful for the process and these people in a way I never knew I could learn it.