Thursday, July 01, 2010

Seriously Unscheduled

A few minutes ago I pulled up my trusty online calendar and began inserting details for the coming weeks. At times, I'm the type of person who feels discouraged looking at what is ahead because it all seems to transpire too quickly. I experience powerlessness in its passing. It is not that I want to save my life; rather, I want to savor life and have lacked the skills required to engage in my longing to reestablish a whole-life. Thankfully, this year has changed that immensely.

What I noticed as I glanced through each of the remaining months of 2010 was a supreme lack of detail marking out my days and weeks. While I have a feeling this state of being will not last long, I gaped at those empty squares dedicated to unfilled days, feeling a rush of fascination and fear. I do not remember a time in the past six years where there was so much emptiness, openness, or opportunity (I'm still undecided on which to choose) in my schedule.

I'm wondering tonight how these moments of life will transpire. What does God have in store? Who are the people with whom I will spend them? How can I choose to engage and invest in a way I've never imagined?

Exciting, right?

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