Him

He made an astute observation, "The Gospel is so incredibly dear to you because of what you've experienced in your life..." Perhaps for the first time, I saw it, too. A million thoughts entered my mind all at once and I teared. "I don't know if I've ever seen it that way, " I responded (at least in my head--I don't know if the words actually came out).

Thinking about it later, the reality sunk in more deeply. The Father's love for me has changed everything. He is the only One who has fully understood, walked with me in every aspect of my life and poured out love in a way I haven't been able to experience and receive from other people. The Gospel is precious to me because He is precious to me.

How did He become precious? Through years and years of disappointments. Through wounds. Through unmet longings and postponed desires. The junk of life has illuminated the treasure of the cross, the beauty of His sacrificial love, the wonder of His goodness and faithfulness to me.

He has never abandoned me. He has never belittled me. He has never ignored me. He has never forgotten me. He has always given me dignity. He has always loved me. He has always cheered me on. He has always forgiven me. He has always told me the truth--and put my shame away from me. He has been merciful. He has been kind. He has been beyond generous. He has never failed.

Sitting quietly at the desk, I turned from the computer screen to witness the morning through the windows. I listened to a song I posted here months ago (Beautiful, by Phil Wickham). He sings, "When we arrive at Eternity's shore, where death is just a memory and tears are no more, we'll enter in as the wedding bells ring, Your bride will come together and we'll sing... You're beautiful." Before I knew it, tears fell. I sat here thinking, "And isn't that JUST it..." Hope. All of this leads me into the beauty of who He is. I get to rest there for eternity--in perfect relationship. Living IN the fullness of the promise. Really, truly, completely ALIVE.

This Kingdom, this Gospel is precious because He is precious. I can lay everything down if it means I get Him. And, if the longings in my heart don't ever come to pass in the way I hoped, I still don't lose. I consider it a bargain. I've gotten the best part.