Walking up the sidewalk yesterday, I pulled my keys out then tried to wrestle the door open while realizing it was locked at the top, too. Standing on my tippy-toes I reached high inserting the key, but couldn't manage to unbolt it. Meanwhile, two very happy faces appeared between the blinds on the door-glass and me. Upon opening it (thanks to their dad), they rushed at me--hugging me and telling me they missed me. Pure delight. I had been in the city all week, so I hugged them back, "I missed you, too!..." I looked both of them in the eye as I spoke and meant it.
The little one ambled towards me as I hugged the others in the foyer and stood there smiling, holding her beloved puppy. She waved at me, tilted her head and smiled again. They came to the car to help me bring in my things and just before bedtime, each grabbed a bag and helped me carry everything upstairs. (Well, except the one who remembered she was upset about something. Oh kids--being so present in their emotional lives. :) )
And as their mom read the older two stories, the little one decides to run back and forth upstairs peering down at me through the railing. "What are you doing?" she asks her favorite question. "Reading... What are you doing?" She smiles without answering and runs down the hallway again. This same exchange occurs another fifteen million times. At one point she sits down and puts both legs through two slats in the railing and waves at me. Then she returns to her work--running from one end of the hall to the next, always checking in on her sisters.
Finished looking at stuff online, I head to the kitchen sink to do a few dishes. Little one returns to the rail above and calls out, "Jesh...!" I turn my attention to her and she smiles, "I wuve you!"
Be.still.my.heart.
I almost cried it was so sweet.
"I love you, too," I replied.
We both smiled at the other and she was off on her way again.
Later, I told her mom about it. We talked about how I think part of the reason I experienced loneliness so strongly this past week is because I've been with their family this past month. I've been in an environment where people wonder where I am when I'm not home and ask me how my day is. They care about the things I'm walking through and have been supportive of me in the midst of a whole lot of hardship. The girls are happy to see me for no apparent reason beyond the fact that they like having me around. This place and these people have become a haven for me.
The contrast was stark this week. And, for better or worse (I actually think better), I get to see what I really need and want because of my time with them. Being part of something here makes me realize how I don't really feel part of something out "there". It has provided a place for my heart to recognize what matters. I get to press in and ask Jesus how He wants to provide for me specifically in this way and invite Him to touch these places that feel so tired, so needy. I think that's really good.
No comments:
Post a Comment