Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope. Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:1-5
(www.biblegateway.com)
He has led me here again. Romans 5. For years I have returned to this place in Scripture for consolation and comfort. Each time He has met me here, reminding me of what is true. The place I approach from today is no different. He has been inviting me to lift my eyes and acknowledge what is true.
In my mind I have this picture of His eyes. There really aren't words to convey the experience as I look into them. Usually, they're hazel in color, but what I see there...? Depth. Understanding. Care. Perfect 'seeing'. I know He knows me. I know He gets it. Somehow, I see His longing for me to see Him, too. All facades fall away and I come undone in my weariness, disappointment, sadness and in my desire to believe and to see what He sees.
I picture myself sitting cross-legged and opening my palms before Him. "Lord, put faith in these hands. Establish in me hope and belief. Tell me the truth so I can live in it. Help me to set aside my incomplete understanding. Give me Your understanding..." The funny thing is, He typically doesn't give me the specific answers I'm seeking. One might find that frustrating. It's strange though... I find myself relieved not to know. I think it's because I trust Him.
All things considered, at the end of the day, He has promised to work all things together for good for those who love Him. I have to believe this because it's true. Regardless of my feelings or the experience I've had in the places of pain, I've seen His goodness. I've experienced His faithfulness. How can I forget what's true? How can I disregard what He has lovingly sacrificed so I might have life? I cannot forget.
But how do I hope in the face of hardships?
A couple I love offered a blessing to me this week for my birthday. Part of the writing said, "One of the Hebrew words for 'hope' and 'wait' derives from the same root word. The Hebrew words translated 'hope' to mean confidence, twisting in labor pains, waiting, shelter, expectation, patience, security, trust, enduring, expectancy, something longed for. When your temptation to hopelessness continues without fulfillment, your Father says those who wait for Him will never be put to shame. Your Father is the God of hope who fills you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him..."
And I understand something significant. I'm asking trivial questions like, "Why, Lord?" When the more meaningful question is, "Who are You, Lord?" You see, I need to know Him as He really is. No longer viewing Him through earthly lenses, but heavenly ones. He holds all things in His hands. I don't simply cling to Him when I see how His promises are fulfilled. I cling to Him always, even when I cannot see. I don't let go of Him. Therefore, I can hope.
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