Saturday, March 15, 2014

Better

Earlier this year there was a piece of me which wondered about the things I was giving up to follow after the Lord. I didn't take much time thinking them over because I knew He was leading me to good places and I was so ready to go. One friend felt deeply about it on my behalf and honestly, I didn't really understand or even agree with their perspective. Because, to me, when the Lord invites me into something, I know He isn't asking me to release good things from my life. He's just inviting me into better.

And, beyond that, I wasn't concerned about how things would turn out. I figured that the people who needed to be in my life would be and I would be in theirs. Those who didn't need to walk through this next season with me wouldn't. I didn't need to 'fight' for friendships or figure it out. I simply needed to grab the Lord's hand and walk forward with Him. I truly thank God that I didn't worry about it because I've been able to simply be here, moving forward.

In the midst of feeling light about my relationships, God has done something I didn't expect (I didn't analyze it to death, so I didn't see it coming). He's given me the sweetest moments with people I used to see all of the time. I've been included in ways I haven't anticipated. When I show up somewhere and happen upon people, there is a freedom and joy in the moments we're together that I haven't experienced in quite a while.

I was living under a burden I couldn't easily identify. Expectation. Disappointment. Longing. Desire. Newly freed up from these places, I have the privilege to look at my encounters with fresh eyes. It has been really lovely. I'm feeling a little gooey about it today, actually. I see how the Lord has fought for ME in His leading away from what was. He had more for me and was not content to leave me there. Instead, He has led me here -- to a space which is so open and wide. Here where the sun shines more brightly, I find myself blinking back tears of gratitude for what was and now, what is.

This is where surrender leads. When I opened up my heart and my hands to say, "You know better," God kindly showed me just that -- better.

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