Fast week 2007. We challenged our students and staff team to take a corporate fast based out of Isaiah 58. There, we find an explanation of fasting that pleases God. The most substantial lesson I learned as we prepared for this fast and studied this passage was the outward focus of the fast itself. It's for others. No doubt that we experience blessing in the midst of a fast, yet God desires for us to sacrifice on behalf of others -- to break the binds of wickedness, undo heavy burdens, free the oppressed, break every yoke, clothe the naked, feed the hungry, bring those in who have no shelter.
I was amazed at the lesson God taught me as I entered into this fast. Although it wasn't my first fast, it was my favorite. I appreciated the opportunity to pray for the people of the Vail Valley and invite the Lord to do the things listed in Isaiah 58 in their lives. In fact, as the week went on, our students saw first doors opening for kingdom conversations at work. It was exciting to see God move in the lives of our students, staff and residents of the Valley.
My week took an unexpected turn three days into the fast (Wednesday). A dear friend, Kate came to visit me and we spent some time walking around Vail Village and catching up. Just the day before, I shared with the staff team that I felt at peace, refreshed and encouraged in the midst of the fast. I was tired, but ultimately, I felt great. My friend and I made our way to Starbucks in the Village to grab a drink and as soon as I paid at the register, I looked around the store and everything looked really strange. I began to experience nausea and thought I might throw up. I made my way to the restroom and almost passed out while waiting in line.
Several minutes later, I composed myself and headed back out to meet Kate. I sat down at the table and felt weaker than I'd ever been in my life. I told her that I should probably eat something, but couldn't even do that. Finding myself back in the restroom, I began experiencing tremendous pain in my abdomen. I spent a while in there and finally made my way back into the cafe. At this point, I told Kate that I felt that I needed the paramedics and that we should call the project Operations Director for help.
Shortly thereafter, spread out on a comfy chair with my legs up on another, our Ops guy arrived and then the paramedics. I was in such pain that I kept my eyes closed to avoid taking in anything else that I'd need to process - I needed to focus on breathing through the pain. I remember hearing someone say, "Is that our girl?" Then, he was kneeling near me asking if there was any possibility of pregnancy... Nope... Eyes still closed. After a few minutes and hearing more people enter the store, I opened my eyes to see Ryan from the Bachelorette kneeling beside me! He was the one asking the questions and checking my vitals! He was very kind, as were most of the other paramedics and Vail fire personnel.
Essentially, I told them that I had been fasting - they didn't look pleased, but I had been taking good care of myself with plenty of water (between 96 and 128 oz. per day). They took me to the hospital saying that I was dehydrated, but interestingly enough, didn't think enough of it to give me an IV. On the way out of Starbucks, I discovered the Fire Chief offering his arm and helping me to the ambulance. He told me that my blood pressure was 90/60. No wonder I couldn't move! :)
At the hospital, they ran some tests, discovered some things and ordered a CT Scan. Nothing looked abnormal, so they sent me home with some short instructions. It was a most adventurous day. What is most interesting about all of it to me is the fear I experienced in the midst of the pain and low blood pressure. I remember praying, "Lord, I'm so scared, I need you to help me. I can't do this." I've never been so afraid in my life.
Later, I thought back to a dream I had on Sunday night at the onset of the fast. Without going into detail, the dream left me awake in the middle of the night experiencing a tremendous sense of fear. I knew when I came to my senses that this was a spiritual dream and that this fear was not from God. As I thought about the circumstances that transpired in Starbucks, I knew that this was no ordinary situation. For one, my condition changed as if someone had flipped on a light switch. One moment I was totally fine, the next I was about to pass out. The fear associated with what happened caused me to consider that this situation was, much like my dream, very spiritual.
At the end of the day, I recognized God's goodness in caring for me in the midst of the fear. I knew that he allowed this to happen for a reason and that our corporate fast would not be well received by the enemy. It's not often that I recognize spiritual warfare, but there was and is not a better explanation. In and through it all, I experienced the Lord's presence. And, we have continued to see God's work as a result of this fast. My prayer has been and continues to be that God would truly free those who are bound in the Valley. That many people would know the freedom that comes from a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and, that they would experience literal healing, freedom and provision in their lives.
What does it look like for me to come alongside those who are hurting? I will continue to ask this question. I trust that God will continue to show me. It is a blessing to know him...
1 comment:
oh dear, JB. is everything ok now?
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