The most wonderful time of my year has arrived... Days and nights filled with nothing but NCAA Men's Basketball. Truth be told, my life is altered as I make plans around the games I "must see"! And, I relish it. I love fan-ship, cheering my team on, competing in the bracket challenges with friends (and hopefully beating them!); and, even when it marks death for my bracket, I hanker for a good Cinderella story. It's the fodder from which dreams are made and brings us hope because, at heart, we all love an underdog!
Let the Madness begin!
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Unmet Expectations and Social Media: Danger Zone
Yesterday I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a woman I met at a social outing. Today, I was taken aback when I logged on and saw her status update in my news-feed... She was publicly berating her husband. I won't share details of what she communicated, but here I am, unable to sleep and still thinking about it.
At the core, I think she was really disappointed. The sadness therein likely played out in hurt, then anger. It sounded as though her husband played a role beyond what occurred initially which escalated the issue. They both contributed.
Why am I continuing to mull it over?
Part of me feels so sad for her husband. What would it be like to log on to Facebook and see your failure? The reality that she highlighted this openly is hard for me to stomach. Even though I'm not married, friends have helped me gain a small understanding of what this does to a man... She publicly stripped him of something significant today.
My other reflection has been focused on her disappointment. Her husband did not meet a need for her and it seems to have magnified all else. He let her down and it triggered something inside of her. There is genuine validity for the need she experienced -- there's something much deeper going on in her heart. The reality of what she did with the disappointment is another thing altogether.
Lately, I've been weighing the power of my own words (perhaps even in light of my last post and wanting to ensure I provided a fairly balanced perspective in my thinking). In my life, I've experienced the truth of this verse: "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit -- you choose." (Proverbs 18:21) What we do with them matters. Perhaps I don't "air my dirty laundry" on Facebook, but what she put out there for all to see happens regularly in my heart. I am not immune and I must remember it.
Perhaps a question or two to ask in the near future:
What is my motivation for posting "this" publicly?
What is really going on in my heart?
Also, a good principle I was reminded of today: HALT: Stopping to ask some of these key questions can help us make better decisions especially when things feel out of control emotionally.
Hungry: What do I really need right now?
Angry: What is really upsetting me and how can I fix it?
Lonely: Who or what will fill my need for companionship right now?
Tired: What is a healthy way to increase my energy right now?
At the core, I think she was really disappointed. The sadness therein likely played out in hurt, then anger. It sounded as though her husband played a role beyond what occurred initially which escalated the issue. They both contributed.
Why am I continuing to mull it over?
Part of me feels so sad for her husband. What would it be like to log on to Facebook and see your failure? The reality that she highlighted this openly is hard for me to stomach. Even though I'm not married, friends have helped me gain a small understanding of what this does to a man... She publicly stripped him of something significant today.
My other reflection has been focused on her disappointment. Her husband did not meet a need for her and it seems to have magnified all else. He let her down and it triggered something inside of her. There is genuine validity for the need she experienced -- there's something much deeper going on in her heart. The reality of what she did with the disappointment is another thing altogether.
Lately, I've been weighing the power of my own words (perhaps even in light of my last post and wanting to ensure I provided a fairly balanced perspective in my thinking). In my life, I've experienced the truth of this verse: "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit -- you choose." (Proverbs 18:21) What we do with them matters. Perhaps I don't "air my dirty laundry" on Facebook, but what she put out there for all to see happens regularly in my heart. I am not immune and I must remember it.
Perhaps a question or two to ask in the near future:
What is my motivation for posting "this" publicly?
What is really going on in my heart?
Also, a good principle I was reminded of today: HALT: Stopping to ask some of these key questions can help us make better decisions especially when things feel out of control emotionally.
Hungry: What do I really need right now?
Angry: What is really upsetting me and how can I fix it?
Lonely: Who or what will fill my need for companionship right now?
Tired: What is a healthy way to increase my energy right now?
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Forget Los Angeles?
So I've been thinking...
What is it about men in the context of a Christian subculture of sorts that leads them to become excessively cautious when it comes to relationships? Or, on a much less risky level, the fear of offering a mere compliment to a female friend because of what it could communicate?
I know, I know. We women like to immediately jump into our fantasy-island-land and picture the guy on our first date, then the proposal (he tells us he CANNOT POSSIBLY live without us), our wedding day (we look STUNNING; he thinks so, too!) and our happily ever after where the children (if we have them) think we're amazing, we never fight, we have it all together and the story fades into the backdrop with the well-known sunset and feel good music (perhaps Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet" - we'll see the irony in the lyric as we're so enraptured by the beauty of the story we've just witnessed?)... Whew.
This is what happens when girlfriends get together to shoot the breeze - probably a scary idea for most guys. : ) We, however, do WONDER about these weird realities and where they come from...
Perhaps we've placed too much pressure on guys to have it figured out when really, we know you don't (have it figured out, that is). This doesn't come from a bitter place, actually, rather one filled with compassion. Or perhaps, we continue (in our lovely female way) to give some guys more credit than is due because they know, as do their male friends, that they are afraid and it immobilizes them.
THAT said, we, females, have MAJOR issues, too... Let's not lose sight of that in this moment. (Remember, fantasy-island-land!... If I were a man, I'd be afraid...)
I have been thinking about this since returning from LA last weekend. A strange thing happened there... I actually met Christian guys that were both engaging, handsome, and fun. They weren't scared of me. They asked me questions, made eye contact (what!?!), were kind, even forthright and seemingly mature. (Basis for "seemingly" as used in the last sentence: I don't know much more than the first impression allowed, so I can't comment beyond this, nor they about me for that matter...)
The one remarkable thing I took with me (as I headed back into the, sometimes strange, subculture I live in) was the real sense of being a woman. They behaved like men and in turn, I felt noticed, interesting and yes, even attractive. It was awesome and encouraging.
No wonder I want to move to Los Angeles A.S.A.P. ;)
What is it about men in the context of a Christian subculture of sorts that leads them to become excessively cautious when it comes to relationships? Or, on a much less risky level, the fear of offering a mere compliment to a female friend because of what it could communicate?
I know, I know. We women like to immediately jump into our fantasy-island-land and picture the guy on our first date, then the proposal (he tells us he CANNOT POSSIBLY live without us), our wedding day (we look STUNNING; he thinks so, too!) and our happily ever after where the children (if we have them) think we're amazing, we never fight, we have it all together and the story fades into the backdrop with the well-known sunset and feel good music (perhaps Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet" - we'll see the irony in the lyric as we're so enraptured by the beauty of the story we've just witnessed?)... Whew.
This is what happens when girlfriends get together to shoot the breeze - probably a scary idea for most guys. : ) We, however, do WONDER about these weird realities and where they come from...
Perhaps we've placed too much pressure on guys to have it figured out when really, we know you don't (have it figured out, that is). This doesn't come from a bitter place, actually, rather one filled with compassion. Or perhaps, we continue (in our lovely female way) to give some guys more credit than is due because they know, as do their male friends, that they are afraid and it immobilizes them.
THAT said, we, females, have MAJOR issues, too... Let's not lose sight of that in this moment. (Remember, fantasy-island-land!... If I were a man, I'd be afraid...)
I have been thinking about this since returning from LA last weekend. A strange thing happened there... I actually met Christian guys that were both engaging, handsome, and fun. They weren't scared of me. They asked me questions, made eye contact (what!?!), were kind, even forthright and seemingly mature. (Basis for "seemingly" as used in the last sentence: I don't know much more than the first impression allowed, so I can't comment beyond this, nor they about me for that matter...)
The one remarkable thing I took with me (as I headed back into the, sometimes strange, subculture I live in) was the real sense of being a woman. They behaved like men and in turn, I felt noticed, interesting and yes, even attractive. It was awesome and encouraging.
No wonder I want to move to Los Angeles A.S.A.P. ;)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Watching, Learning, Living Freely & Lightly
Matthew 11:28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
This passage has become all too familiar over the past couple of years. I feel like the Lord keeps bringing me back to it; it's where I found myself again today while spending the afternoon focused on personal development in 70+ degree weather, poolside. (Yes, my life is pretty amazing on a few levels this year... I just wish I could come to love Orlando in some way.)
Early Sunday I returned from Los Angeles where I spent a few days interviewing some field volunteers, interns and staff for a huge organizational project. While away, I had the opportunity to process some of the ways the Lord has been at work in my life this year. One obvious way is the change from my post last fall to the one I wrote the other week. Beyond that, however, I have begun to see the freedom God is instilling in my heart regarding my life and future. In walking with Jesus and watching how he does things, I am seeing that he really wants me to live. Truly he has been helping me to recover my life.
Sunday night I walked into an altered auditorium space at church; the chairs were replaced with 'stations' with descriptions like Service, Prayer, Confession and more. My first response was, "Get me out of here!" I'm still new to this church and feel like the simple act of showing up on Sunday night is a step of faith. When Cole, who was teaching that night, explained the evening -- he asked us to consider where the Lord might want us to first engage -- I gave in and chose to oblige.
At one station (Solitude), I was able to ask the Lord what I was holding on to that I needed to release back to his care. Relationships. Eye opening. I spent some time at Silence and Sabbatical, seeking to posture my heart to hear. Finally, I headed out to Prayer. That station encouraged us to ask the Lord about the dreams he has placed in our hearts. I grabbed the piece of paper and found a spot alone against a wall. Sitting quietly, I asked the Lord what it was that he wanted me to remember about these dreams. I filled the page.
It was a sweet time with him because I see the Lord changing the way I'm viewing what he might have in store for me -- not in the sense of the mission itself or building His Kingdom, but how he wants me to participate in that. It was in Hollywood last week that I was inspired (!) for the first time in quite some time by the way he's working. I'm beginning to ask him what dreams he's placed in me that I've allowed to fall to the wayside in my attempts to determine my own safe outcomes and create a place in my life where I'm moving higher in leadership, yet lacking vision for those advances.
The reality is that I need him to show me. I don't want to miss what he has for me because I'm too afraid to step out and live in light of his call. A few weeks ago, a guy came and spoke to our national leaders on organizational change. One of the things that stayed with me was this:
"The fruit is out on the branches; we cannot reach it by staying by the trunk."
It's risky to step out on those branches to reach the fruit. The question I've been asking myself since then is this: What's the alternative?
I suppose this is why we Christians continue to say that walking with Jesus is an adventure... It is. And, because it is the greatest and most worthy undertaking in life, it is both terrifying and exhilarating. Thankfully, I have a good teacher to show me the ropes. Lead on, Lord: I'm following you.
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