Yesterday I accepted a friend request on Facebook from a woman I met at a social outing. Today, I was taken aback when I logged on and saw her status update in my news-feed... She was publicly berating her husband. I won't share details of what she communicated, but here I am, unable to sleep and still thinking about it.
At the core, I think she was really disappointed. The sadness therein likely played out in hurt, then anger. It sounded as though her husband played a role beyond what occurred initially which escalated the issue. They both contributed.
Why am I continuing to mull it over?
Part of me feels so sad for her husband. What would it be like to log on to Facebook and see your failure? The reality that she highlighted this openly is hard for me to stomach. Even though I'm not married, friends have helped me gain a small understanding of what this does to a man... She publicly stripped him of something significant today.
My other reflection has been focused on her disappointment. Her husband did not meet a need for her and it seems to have magnified all else. He let her down and it triggered something inside of her. There is genuine validity for the need she experienced -- there's something much deeper going on in her heart. The reality of what she did with the disappointment is another thing altogether.
Lately, I've been weighing the power of my own words (perhaps even in light of my last post and wanting to ensure I provided a fairly balanced perspective in my thinking). In my life, I've experienced the truth of this verse: "Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit -- you choose." (Proverbs 18:21) What we do with them matters. Perhaps I don't "air my dirty laundry" on Facebook, but what she put out there for all to see happens regularly in my heart. I am not immune and I must remember it.
Perhaps a question or two to ask in the near future:
What is my motivation for posting "this" publicly?
What is really going on in my heart?
Also, a good principle I was reminded of today: HALT: Stopping to ask some of these key questions can help us make better decisions especially when things feel out of control emotionally.
Hungry: What do I really need right now?
Angry: What is really upsetting me and how can I fix it?
Lonely: Who or what will fill my need for companionship right now?
Tired: What is a healthy way to increase my energy right now?
No comments:
Post a Comment