Matthew 11:28-30"Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly."
This passage has become all too familiar over the past couple of years. I feel like the Lord keeps bringing me back to it; it's where I found myself again today while spending the afternoon focused on personal development in 70+ degree weather, poolside. (Yes, my life is pretty amazing on a few levels this year... I just wish I could come to love Orlando in some way.)
Early Sunday I returned from Los Angeles where I spent a few days interviewing some field volunteers, interns and staff for a huge organizational project. While away, I had the opportunity to process some of the ways the Lord has been at work in my life this year. One obvious way is the change from my post last fall to the one I wrote the other week. Beyond that, however, I have begun to see the freedom God is instilling in my heart regarding my life and future. In walking with Jesus and watching how he does things, I am seeing that he really wants me to live. Truly he has been helping me to recover my life.
Sunday night I walked into an altered auditorium space at church; the chairs were replaced with 'stations' with descriptions like Service, Prayer, Confession and more. My first response was, "Get me out of here!" I'm still new to this church and feel like the simple act of showing up on Sunday night is a step of faith. When Cole, who was teaching that night, explained the evening -- he asked us to consider where the Lord might want us to first engage -- I gave in and chose to oblige.
At one station (Solitude), I was able to ask the Lord what I was holding on to that I needed to release back to his care. Relationships. Eye opening. I spent some time at Silence and Sabbatical, seeking to posture my heart to hear. Finally, I headed out to Prayer. That station encouraged us to ask the Lord about the dreams he has placed in our hearts. I grabbed the piece of paper and found a spot alone against a wall. Sitting quietly, I asked the Lord what it was that he wanted me to remember about these dreams. I filled the page.
It was a sweet time with him because I see the Lord changing the way I'm viewing what he might have in store for me -- not in the sense of the mission itself or building His Kingdom, but how he wants me to participate in that. It was in Hollywood last week that I was inspired (!) for the first time in quite some time by the way he's working. I'm beginning to ask him what dreams he's placed in me that I've allowed to fall to the wayside in my attempts to determine my own safe outcomes and create a place in my life where I'm moving higher in leadership, yet lacking vision for those advances.
The reality is that I need him to show me. I don't want to miss what he has for me because I'm too afraid to step out and live in light of his call. A few weeks ago, a guy came and spoke to our national leaders on organizational change. One of the things that stayed with me was this:
"The fruit is out on the branches; we cannot reach it by staying by the trunk."
It's risky to step out on those branches to reach the fruit. The question I've been asking myself since then is this: What's the alternative?
I suppose this is why we Christians continue to say that walking with Jesus is an adventure... It is. And, because it is the greatest and most worthy undertaking in life, it is both terrifying and exhilarating. Thankfully, I have a good teacher to show me the ropes. Lead on, Lord: I'm following you.
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