Stepping out of my car tonight at the place I'm staying, I felt the coolness of 70-some degrees (I can't believe I just typed that...) and the sound of a plane drew my attention upward. On its landing course, its lights flashed brightly against a deep blue-black sky. All I could think, "I want to be on you..." Well, heading somewhere else, I guess.
There are such good things happening in my life right now, but today sadness crept in again. Without warning and in two different public places, I cried. And cried. And cried again. In the process I received hurtful words and gave some. Yuck. Feeling wounded, I added to the cycle and I just feel grief.
I wish I understood why some things in my life are as they are at the moment, but I don't. It feels painful and I feel childish. A friend encouraged me, "Jess, you don't know why, but let it out... Sit in it. There's something for you in this." It is a great reminder. Another offered grace. Why is it so hard to receive?
Wishing I could change things, but knowing I have zero control, I stop trying as a new sniffle rises. Things might look different in the morning. I hope.
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