Dear Self,
Ten years have passed since season 33 (and almost a half! You still celebrate it...). Looking back, there are several things I wish you could see about the future that would aid you in the place of pain you're currently sitting in. It's not that it has been eradicated from your life, but you've gained greater perspective (yet again). Remember how you used to think, "Wow, if only I could have told myself the things I know now in my twenties, I would have rested more in the process!"? Well, today, you're looking ahead to counsel yourself in the present with that very idea in mind. So please listen carefully.
Puzzles are meant to be taken out of boxes and put together on tables--people and circumstances are not puzzles for you to figure out. Let go.
You have come so far. God has met you time and again--His Gospel continues to shape and transform you into the image of Jesus. Press on.
Hope and desire are not your enemies. Jesus is inviting you into these places because He loves you. Remain in Him.
Your past has influenced who you are today (in helpful and harmful ways), but it does not define you. The healing that Jesus needs to accomplish is worth it--He's freeing you to believe what's true about who He made you to be so you can live from that reality. Receive it. Walk in it.
He is good. He is faithful. He is trustworthy. He has confidence in you. He has only the best intentions toward you. He loves you. His plans for your life are astoundingly wonderful. He wants you to be free. He sees you. He is your Peace. He is your Helper. He is your Counselor. He is your Refuge. He is your Friend. He is the Lover of your soul. He is your Sovereign Lord. He is your Home.
Worship. Rest. Wrestle. Let Him hold your hand and lead you still deeper into the muck. You'll be so glad you chose in!!! I'm proud of you. I'm encouraged as I think about all that has come to fruition because you did not run away.
I love you very much,
You
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