Wednesday, March 07, 2012

So He Can Give Me His Best...

Last night my house church spent the evening in Luke 7:18-35--the retelling of John the Baptist sending his disciples to see if Jesus was indeed the Messiah. When they find Jesus and ask Him, the text tells us:


 21 At that very time, Jesus cured many people of their diseases, illnesses, and evil spirits, and he restored sight to many who were blind. 22 Then he told John’s disciples, “Go back to John and tell him what you have seen and heard—the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised to life, and the Good News is being preached to the poor. 23 And tell him, ‘God blesses those who do not turn away because of me.[c]’” 
(www.biblegateway.com)

Jesus doesn't respond to the question directly (which is often the case), but tells John's disciples the reality that He is fulfilling prophecies from Isaiah regarding what the Messiah would come to do. Looking back into Isaiah, we found that Jesus does not mention everything that is listed there--perhaps that's part of John's hang-up? Jesus isn't meeting every expectation, so John feels uncertain.

After John's disciples leave, Jesus turns His attention to the crowds around Him and addresses another form of expectation--those held by the people regarding John and his role in preparing the way. He then addresses the Pharisees and points out more expectations--essentially, if God doesn't work in the way they expect Him to, they're unhappy and go about life in their own way--rejecting God's good plan for them!

This is a very short explanation of a passage that contains so much detail and depth. There's much more that I could say, but I want to offer this today: As I read and considered what seemed to be a dry passage (in fact, I told my house church that as I was preparing to facilitate, I genuinely wanted to skip ahead to the next story--one that resonates far more deeply with my emotions than this story), I realized that God was speaking to me again about my expectations and my disappointment.

Is Jesus ushering in the kind of kingdom I desire in my life or do I have other ideas about what that should look like? Discussing it last night, I realized that I fall into the latter camp. The ways that my disappointment has been triggered during the past few months points directly to this reality. I've been in so much pain and desperately long for God to shut off any form of hope or desire in a particular area, but He's too kind to do that. 

In His gentleness and love He continues to offer me His hand--an invitation--to go still further into this place of brokenness and need. He wants to be the One to assign meaning and purpose to what I'm experiencing so that His Kingdom will come into this space inside of me that craves His love and His light. He's asking me to lay down my expectations of what He should provide for me so He can give me His best.

I don't know how John felt when his disciples reported back to him the things that Jesus said, but I feel undone. Jesus, bring Your Kingdom in the way and the time that You desire... That's where my heart goes with this... I want Him to accomplish it in His way, not mine. And, painful as it is to be in this place of healing which requires that I surrender every expectation and motive,  I know that the outcomes He produces in the process are filled with goodness and the right kind of fruit.

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