Love Lavishly!!

I've been thinking a lot this last week about my most recent post. I faced my own words about throwing off those perceptions and moving forward in faith with honesty and realized I was actually on the fence about following through. As I investigated what was behind all of it, I saw that I did not believe it was possible to do so--that was hard to see in myself. The idea of throwing those perceptions off has been a point of contention for me since. What would it look like? What would it mean?

Going back to my own motivations, I understood that part of me wanted to allow a wall to remain so I would not have to risk and be hurt again. Again. Sometimes that feels like the story of my life, but I realize that it's such a small story to live out in this life. And, my story is part of a much grander and exceptionally beautiful narrative, so why would I allow this tiny thing to have lasting influence?

I talked about love in the last post, too. I know it is the tool, the sword, to combat what I've been facing. Part of me has felt like it's too heavy to pick up, too cumbersome to hold. That's the lie. It feels heavy because it's contrary to what the world wants me to do and I'm loaded down with those images, words, ways of operating--love feels so raw, so unfamiliar, so risky.

And the truth is that it is... It's all of those things, but His Kingdom is built on that foundation. It's contrary to the old life, the old me. I'm still learning to receive it. How do I offer it while I'm still in school trying to figure out how to let it in? But I realize, we learn so much better by experience... These experiences are helping me on both fronts; so I receive it and I learn to offer it. I love lavishly because I am lavishly loved.

Love is the reality that grounds these feet that want to run away. It holds them in place and invites me to stay (all of me). Love allows me the freedom to be myself and live from that place--truly throwing off those perceptions and living as freely as I did before they were brought to my attention. The perceptions are not my guide on to how to behave. Love is. He is. We love because He first loved us.