At the core, Stu Shepard and I have a lot in common. A few years ago I sat down with friends to take in the film Phone Booth. It was a powerful 90 minutes as I discovered how much this story had to say about the crisis of identity that we, in our culture face. I watched as a man, faced with the truth of who he was apart from all pretenses, openly admitting his weakness to the world, discovering what was truly real and important to him in life. It is a story that has stayed with me.
In my life, I’ve invented and reinvented myself. At times, I have chosen to become what I believe others want to see. After all, I wonder, who truly wants to know the real me? I am a Christian, living in an individualistic society finding that I have a much skewed perspective on the value of true community. I often hide the truth of who I am from others. The question is: what is it that I fear?
Late in the film, we find Stu admitting, “…I have just been dressing up as something I'm not for so long, I'm so afraid no one will like what's underneath. But here I am, just flesh and blood and weakness…” Like Stu, my greatest fear is that others will unearth what is true of me. I sin. I am weak. I don’t have it all together. And, in seeing the truth, that people will reject me. So, instead of choosing honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability, I lie about myself because it feels safe.
Never in my life have I found this place satisfying. Rather, I feel bound to my lies, to the facades that I’ve created and emptiness resounds in my heart because I am not known. How thankful I am that the gospel dispels this image I’ve created, and not only that, but that Christ embraces, loves and speaks truth to me in the midst of my facade. He calls me out into community as apart of the redemption process. He continues to show me what is true, “The good news is: you are more sinful and flawed than you ever dared believe yet you can be more accepted and loved than you ever dared hope at the same time because Jesus Christ lived and died in your place.” (www.redeemer.com)
It is also in understanding that others struggle with divulging what is true about them that frees me to step out in faith, leading in authenticity. I want to be apart of transformational community where, as those in Acts 2:42-47 experienced, they received the gospel, broke bread together, shared all in common, gave to those in need, and watched God grow the church as people came to faith. The longer I walk with Christ, the more I am able to recognize that, in order to experience this type of community, I must be the one who chooses to be real. No one else can do this for me. When I let others in, I find depth, intimacy and the ability to continually choose freedom. It is in this place that I experience the grace and truth of the gospel together and find deep satisfaction in the person of Christ.
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