Waiting is Hard

We're on day 11 past Sophie's due date and I think we're all feeling it. We're wondering, "Lord, why the delay?" We trust His timing to be perfect. I was just thinking last night about all of the people who need to be present for this sweet baby's birth. Which doctors, nurses and other hospital staff are supposed to be present? Who are the people who need to be in the waiting room, those we're supposed to meet and encourage, while we await Sophie's arrival? He doesn't miss anything and so I trust these final preparations are underway so Sophie can come in His proper time.

But, I don't understand it still. My friends are tired and labor pains have been long (since the wee hours of yesterday morning) -- I include Kevin in this ("friends") because I know he's totally in it with Linds. It's really incredible to know that, actually. One dear friend is caring so well for another dear friend--both of them on this unexpected journey of faith in their life and marriage together. How kind is God to allow me to know them both and live life with them? How kind is God to show me devotion, faithfulness, belief and the beauty of wrestling through the questions as I've sat on the front row watching this story unfold? What a model of devotion they are to me. How kind is God to give all of us the gift of Sophie?

I lost it this morning. I started freaking out as I stood against the wall doing the exercise my chiropractor has asked me to do for my neck. I gripped the wall hoping it would hold me up. The tears fell and I told the Lord, "I just want to stuff these feelings away. I want to drown them out with activity and diversion. I don't want to feel what I'm feeling and wonder what I'm wondering..." I want to know what God knows right now, guys. I want to know the end of this story. He gently reminded me, "Trust Me. I'm good. I'm faithful." He invited me to press in.

I read the story of Solomon dedicating the Temple in I Kings 8. I read of his wholehearted devotion to God and the way the Lord received him. That story doesn't end well--Solomon eventually releases his faithful devotion to God. I want to be a person who embraces the Lord right where He has me. David did this... God didn't allow him to build the Temple, so what did he do? He set aside everything he could to ensure it would be fabulous when his son built it. He honored God even when God gave him a "No". His heart belonged to the Lord.

I guess the bottom line is this, I get to choose to believe the Lord today. Choose to believe what He says when He tells me He is faithful and true. When He shows me His perfect goodness and righteousness, I get to I bow in surrender and take joy in it. He is God. I am not.

Waiting is hard. As we've texted back and forth this morning, I'm encouraged to be in this with Linds and Julie, our other dearest friend. I'm thankful for the friendship we have and the way God has knit us together through so much life lived together. I'm thankful we can offer one another comedic relief and prayer and Scripture to uplift and encourage one another. I'm thankful to know they'd go to bat for me in the way we're standing in the gap with and for Linds right now. I wouldn't trade this season. And, whatever is to come, I won't trade that either.

So, we wait. We hope. We pray that even now, God is knitting together Sophie's skull and her brain inside of Lindsey. We trust the Author of Life to sustain these dear ones. To offer them hope. To invite them deeper into Himself. We ask Him to do the same in us.