The Opposite of Worry

"You will keep her in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You: because she trusts in You."

Isaiah 26:3 (him/her changes: mine)

I've spent the last two days admiring the walls in my room and the view out my window due to the stomach flu. I forgot how awful it is. But today, I realized the sickness is related to stress I'm feeling. It's no wonder my body is responding in such a terrible way--I feel absolutely overwhelmed and worried. There have been so many things on my mind this past month and I now see the toll this stress has taken on my body as my thoughts have swirled. I've really only allowed myself to cry in short bursts this past month fearing I'd be overcome with the sadness and disappointment I feel, but perhaps it would be better to really 'go there' instead of stuffing it in the ways I have by stopping myself short each time the tears well. 

Throughout the day the above verse has been on my mind. I've recited it to myself as I've padded from bedroom to kitchen refilling my teacup. I've thought about it during and between episodes of Sherlock. And, I've wondered at the simplicity of allowing my thoughts to remain on the Lord making way for the worries to wash away. After all, Jesus sees my sadness. He gets my disappointment. He fully comprehends the future He's leading me toward. I have nothing to fear. His love drives out all fear.

All I must do is choose. Choose to see Him in all of it. Choose to trust. Choose to allow myself to feel what I'm feeling and stop censoring myself emotionally thinking no one can handle that... He can. And, He wants to. He's given me a lighter burden, a different yoke. He's inviting me there in this process and still, I hold on to some semblance of control for what? I'll tell you right now... Whatever I think I'm gaining here isn't worth it. 

If you're a person of prayer, I'd love for you to pray this verse for me. I need to walk in His grace and experience the wonderful peace He gives me so freely. I'm just having a hard time with it at the moment.