Monday, April 29, 2013

Nothing Do I Withhold


Piece by piece things are walking out of my home in the hands of people I know. Letting go. It's strange to consider these belongings are no longer mine. But, it's good. A friend said yesterday, "I cannot imagine the Lord asking you to let go of most of your things..." I smiled at her. She loves me and doesn't want me to lose anything as I walk into this new season of surrender.

The truth is, I'm not losing one thing.

For months He has been whispering it to me. Maybe longer. When it became obvious to me ten days ago, I jumped! He is inviting me to remember again how He is my Home. He's inviting me to relinquish good things so He can give better. This time around, it almost feels like I don't need faith to do it. Though, I do.

Another dear friend told me to listen to a specific and recent talk by Bill Johnson the other day. In it, he shares, "Faith is exploring the land." (My paraphrase.) I'm requiring myself to experience the truth of what I believe right now. In response to the Lord's invitation to see what He's given me, I'm extending my own:

Show me WHO You are!
Show me how GOOD You are!
Show me how FAITHFUL You are!
Take me deeper. Take me deeper still!!

I cry as I reflect on the joy of this journey! What joy to trust Him so much! What a gift from Him! He's walked me through it all. And now, I arrive at these places where He asks for more and it's easier to open these hands. It's easier to let go... Because... I KNOW Him. I know Him. And, like any significant relationship, there's more to know.

He is God. It'll take me an eternity. I'm thankful I have it. He gave me that, too.

So I sit here on the rug, leaning against the couch that's been with me for 12 years. This couch that I've loved and shuttled around the country is going, too. This sofa where so many have sat, rested, shared stories, cried, laughed... This piece of furniture that has become an institution in my view of home. And, it's beautiful. I want it to go. It's time for it to go.

I have the privilege of walking forward without the burden of so many things so I can step into the good awaiting me. I GET to make space for an unknown future of good gifts on this path He has me on. I GET to. He never asks us to let go of things without purpose. He always has our best at heart. Our obedient responses bring Him glory and honor. Win. Win. Win. Win. Win.

And still, something inside me says, "There's more..." I know it's not the end of the letting go. I wrestle with a couple of thoughts popping into my mind. I pray I choose to give it. All. I pray there's nothing I hold onto... I pray for first things to be first. Everything else, second.

He is first.

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